This post may be a little long but bear with me. Let’s start with a quick factual statistic. 70% of men have no idea what it’s like from a woman’s point of view when it comes to starting a relationship. You’re a guy approaching a girl, you seem to do everything right from what you have known to be right but you don’t get anywhere. You’ve complimented her hair, weren’t rude or insulting, and she doesn’t even give you a second glance. Do you want to know why? Well keep reading..
A man’s greatest fear is rejection, but do you know what a woman’s is? Most guys don’t. The greatest common fear among women in dating is the fear of being harmed, either physically or even emotionally. If you’re a guy reading this your are likely thinking “But I’ve never harmed a woman and never would” and while that may be true, she doesn’t know that. I think the best perspective of this is a quote from Louis C.K. as stated below:
The courage it takes for a woman to say yes [to date a man] is beyond anything I can imagine. A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill advised. How do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to woman than men? We’re the number-one threat! To women! Globally and historically, we’re the number-one cause of injury and mayhem to women. We’re the worst thing that ever happens to them!
If you want to be successful in modern relationships, the more you understand this the better you can deliver what women love while eliminating what they fear.
Want a relateable example? Think of a cop’s point of view on society. A good 90% of their time during the day is spent dealing with the scummiest 5% of humanity. Now it’s not that all humans are bad, but cops only get the perspective of the worst. Similar is applied to dating for women. Most rude and obnoxious guys that approach women are the same 10% that do so every time. So what about the “good” guys out there? A majority of them actually aren’t doing anything! The fact of the matter is not that good guys don’t exist, it’s that they aren’t proactive because of fear of rejection (which was mentioned earlier). So how do you approach a woman you find attractive?
Firstly, understand and accept that they may be fearful or even push back a little at first (and for good reasons). Secondly, don’t compliment their physical appearance. What? That’s right. As ironic as it may be, women already know their attractive yet are still self-conscious about it. Even if they don’t necessarily realize it sometimes. So what would a proper approach be? Tell her something she doesn’t know and hasn’t been told hundreds of times by thousands of guys. Ask about her ambitions, friends, interests, ect. If she is with friends, make a good impression for them too! They will have an impact on what she thinks of you. Their opinions matter to her.
In summary, understand that women have their own fears and while you may not completely understand the reasoning behind it, you have your own too don’t you? Be interested in her, and not just physically. Ask about what she likes and find out what her passions are!